Adulting

Why Millennials Aren’t Lazy Delicate Snowflakes

Photo By: Lynae Cook

Millennials: Lazy delicate snowflakes or unfortunate inheritors of dysfunctional economy?

As a fellow millennial, it’s no secret we get a bad rap
It seems every day there is another article telling us how lazy and entitled we are, how we are ruining the housing market or how all your friends still live in their parents basement. Baby Boomers seem to think we want everything handed to us on a silver platter without having to work for it…. that and abortions. Evidently, millennials love free stuff and abortions. We’re the worst.

But are they right?
I guarantee we all know a couple millennials who are in fact, lazy pieces of shit. Working entry level jobs with no end or aspiration in sight, happy to spend their $300 life’s savings on this weekend’s festival tickets. That guy is not helping our cause but what about the vast majority of us 20-30 somethings busting our asses? Why is it, that even after going to a top business school, graduating with honors, getting a job on Wall Street, and working my dick off for the last 10 years, do I feel like actually affording something like a house is still well beyond my grasp? If you’re thinking to yourself “something is fucked up here” you may be on to something.

Granted, our generation has a much higher percentage of entitled pussies than any before us but I will do what millennials do best, and tell you why it’s not our fault. Take these facts and put them in your back pocket for the next time Janice at the office starts to criticize you for not having a house and two kids yet.

All of our problems can be boiled down to two huge factors: student debt and wage stagnation
Let’s start with student loans with this chart. Six to fucking midnight. It doesn’t take a statistician to realize student debt is rocketing right up our asses. Total student debt is currently at $1.16 trillion, good luck even comprehending that number.

So, now let’s look at wage stagnation. Did you know despite being better educated, millennials now earn 20% less than boomers did at the same stage of life in 1989? We currently make the same amount, with college degrees, that our parents did in the 80s, without degrees. Seems fair right?

Even worse, our net worth is half of what a Boomer’s was at the same age:

Let’s take those same two graphs and put them together into one easy to understand depressing snapshot:

In my professional opinion, I can confidently say, shit is fucked
In the US, UK, and Japan, the generation of citizens aged 19-35 are the first in modern memory on course to be worse off than their parents. When the average student leaves college with over $37k in debt, but can only get an entry level job offering 1980s wages, what do you expect to happen? It’s amazing we can support ourselves at all, let alone buy starter houses and SUVs.

Of course our propensity to think we are special, going to school until we are 30 years old, and expecting that Masters in Art History to lead to lucrative careers is naïve at best. Our parents were willing to take that factory job out of high school and grind out manual labor for 40 years at the same company, because that’s just what you were supposed to do back then. Does that mean they were right and we are wrong? Who knows but one thing’s for sure, the fact that you could buy a new car and house for under $250k back in the day sure as shit made things a little easier.

So the next time Janice is riding you for buying avocado toast rather than investing in your future, throw some of these cold hard facts right in her stupid fucking face.


Note: Sources of graphs are listed in the images. If these belong to you and you’re upset at us for being lazy, chart stealing Millennials please reach us to them and we’ll take them down. I can assure you we’re sure as hell not making any money off of these articles and the use of your images in them. 

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